A Few Loose Ends

July 27, 2007

It's been a while since my last entry here, partly because I have been fairly busy, and partly because I have had some difficulty focusing in on any one particular subject. With that in mind, I'm going to use this opportunity to tidy up[ a bunch of random thoughts about island life that have been floating around unexpressed, poking at my conscience, leaving unsightly hair in the sink and generally being a nuisance.

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The word on the street is that this island is one of the most desired vacation places in the world, holding the Number One spot in Conde Nasts' list of Top Ten Islands In The World for going on nearly ten years and always in the top three on any other ritzy publication's list. That's just peachy and all, but I can't figure out what the vacationers are doing when they get here. I would have thought for sure that relaxing on the beach would be on the agenda, but apparently this is not so.
There's only a couple of beaches on this island that you can consider being a traditional sandy sun-and-fun beach. One of them is on the other side of the mountains in an isolated resort area, and it is very nice, winning another Best In The World listing. Chances are that you probably can't afford to sunbathe there. The other is about three minutes from our crib...Maipoina Oe Iau Park ("Forget-Me-Not") on the Ma'alaea Bay shores. This is a beautiful beach, perfect for most shoreline relaxation activities, with exquisite sand and clear blue water. The only thing missing from it is vacationers. Brian and I visit this beach regularly, at various times of the day, and we almost never see any more than ten people for as far as the eye can see, which is several miles. On the one hand, this is nice in that it's never crowded, and it feels as though we have our own private beach. On the other hand, the severe deficit of bikini bunnies fuels the fear that my monastic lifestyle may never end.


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Maui is an expensive place to live, and the coming development of vacation real estate only makes it more difficult for the native-born Hawaiian to have (or keep) a home or car. Many of them only have bicycles for transportation...and boy, is it easy to pick them out.
The local bicycle is a strange and unique creation, each one as different and unique as it's owner. Parts are scrapped together from whatever is found lying in a ditch covered in weeds, and they are installed backwards, upwards, amended and with every other term for modified that you can think of. Bags and pouches are strapped into whatever spaces the frame might have, and if that's not enough space, then more frame is added until you can mange to create a two-wheeled, human-powered condominium. Paint schemes are equally unique, as every Hawaiian cyclist imagines himself to be an artist. There are tiger stripes and polka dots and mosaics and a wide variety of mottled shades of grey, black, and rust. With my somewhat limited vocabulary, it's difficult to describe them accurately; the best way I can tell you is that they look like what would happen if Salvador Dali had built the Mars rover.


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The newcomer might be amused by the Hawaiian license plate: a rainbow on a plain white field. Don't worry--it doesn't mean that we are all gay.

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I've done quite a bit of listening to modern Hawaiian music on the radio while traveling around the island, and I've noticed something interesting about it: Hawaiians have very little to write about. There's a few love songs, and a few historical songs--songs about great storms, conquests of King Kamehameha, and a very popular one about the demigod Maui ("The one original ultimate Hawaiian Superman!!")--but mostly there are songs about fishing. Lots and lots of fishing songs. At first this seems funny after a lifetime of mainland music which tackles such a vast array of subjects from depressing isolationism to all-night partying to political grandstanding to pickup trucks and everything you can think of in between; but then it becomes charming in it's innocence and simplicity. I don't know the names of the artists because the station never announces them (I hate that), but I take delight in hearing one minstrel sing about walking along the rocks and netfishing, with every line answered by the voice of a young girl singing the same lines in the native Hawaiian tongue. He keeps his message simple:

"I walk on the rocks and I see all the mullet
I fit plenty fish in my five-gallon bucket
I cast my net so far and wide
I love to fish at Hale Aloha, Hawaii!"

Another fave of mine is "Mr. Polebender":

"Mister Polebender, where are you?
I gonna bait my hook and line
And then I'm coming for you!"

Now, this is not traditional Hawaiian music....it's not ukeleles and slide guitars and Don Ho falsettos singing "Tiny Bubbles". Modern Hawaiian music is nothing more than standard Jamaican reggae, but without the politics and drug references. It has it's own name: Jawaiian. There is an AM station that does play nothing but traditional Hawaiian music from more modern artists such as Grammy winner Isreal Kamakawiwe'ole (affectionately known as Bradda Iz) to music recorded as far back as the 40's. I occasionally listen to this music also, and it is a beautiful language to hear when set to music. The only problem is that this station is very badly managed, and you often hear the same six-song sets repeated back-to-back, and again an hour later. What really surprised me was that when first hearing it, I found that I was familiar with all of it! That struck me as very strange, because I don't remember ever being exposed to very much of it before I found that station. It seems that even when you hear just little bits and pieces of it when passing by tourist shops and hotel luaus, they stick into your subconscious with a much firmer grip than other popular musics do.